Good afternoon dear reader(s)!
As you are now no doubt aware, our efforts to bring about an early rapture have come up a little short today. I have already called continued existence and conceeded the race. Continued existence was gracious in victory and I pledged to work with continued existence in any way I can for the rest of this term. I apologize to all of the volunteers who worked so tirelessly for our vision of the end, as I know I have let you down. But though we are down this day, we are not out. For while our efforts to recall continued existence may have failed, we still have a great chance to win in the official end of the world in 2012. And I promise that from now until then, I will work harder than ever to make sure that is exactly what happens! Our voices are strong. Our cause is just. The end may not be as near as we had hoped, but make no mistake, with your continued support, the end IS near!
To find out more about how you can bring about the end, visit your local library or send a self addressed, stamped envelope to this PBS station.