Good afternoon dear reader(s)!
As many of you know, I hate this Biggest Little City with a passion almost as great as the passion all of you have for my blog-type-thing. However, Hannah keeps bitching at me for being too negatvie, so in a break with tradition, I offer you a list of things to love about Reno. I am positive that I will have at least four things on my list. I am also positive however, that some of this may leave you with a negative impression of this Biggest Little City. I am also positive that any negative impression you may form regarding my positivity or that of this city is your impression, and therefore you are the one being negative. So without further delay, here it is, in all its glory, just for you, with no more stalling, in just a few more seconds, right after this commercial break, (just kidding, no one would advertise to just my mom)...My List of Things to Love About Reno!!! (Applause)
1. Cheap and easy to procure alcohol. (i.e. 24/7, in convenience stores, church parking lots, classrooms, etc...) This is not only something to love about living here, it is also somewhat of a necessity given how often this place can drive one to drink.
2. It snows more often on sunny days here than anywhere else on the planet. This is fact as documented by me, on my travels to at least 10 other cities within the continental US as well as 1 city in Canada. Therefore the accuracy of my claim is indesputible. Why is this something to love? Well, despite it being cold as hell, snow in sun does look pretty.
3. I'm here. That is why YOU should love Reno. Not me, it is why I hate it.
4. Our alternative radio station, despite not being very alternative (i.e. alot of Hipster trendy music) at least tries to play something besides 80s hair metal, & their morning show gives you the ability to hear some music as opposed to only talk. Also, the talk you do hear is not really lame which is rare intalk radio. Which segues so nicely into...
5. It has been years since we had to say we are the home of Rob, Arnie, & Dawn.
There. 5 things you can love about Reno. I am such a positive person that I even beat my prediction of having 4 things on my list.
So until next time dear reader(s), just sit there in the Lotus position and try to absorb the positive energy I am sending your way. Of course, anyone with a brain knows you won't be able to absorb only positive energy because for a circuit to work you need both positive and negative energy, but it keeps you sitting there quiet, and that is a positive thing for me.