Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Study In Productivity

Good morning dear reader(s)!  

Did you miss me?  Me either.  Anyone who regularly checks this page (me & my mom) may have noticed that I did not do a post-type-thing after writing one daily for at least a solid week.  How can I go without doing one when there is an obvious shortage of crappy material in the blog-type-thingosphere?  Well, it starts with allergies.  

When one grows up in a certain climate, one generally becomes aclimated to said climate's distinct types of pollen and other plant-specific particulate.  Then when one moves away, they must adapt to that climate's particulate.  Eventually the body forgets about the first climate's particulate.  Then one moves back to the original climate, & the particulate of the original climate decides to try & make one suicidal, but in a much more exciting way than M. Knigt Shyamalan came up with for "The Happening".  Instead of working in your brain, it just makes you so miserable with allergies that death seems as though it may be your only salvation.  Rather than suicide, I decided I would first take Benadryl before I went to bed the night before last, which would let me live, but make me comatose for a while so as not to be aware of the allergies.  (I have determined in my own clinical trial that Benadryl is no more effective than placebo at blocking the effects of allergies, but is 99% effective at putting one into a coma so the allergy symptoms become second priority.  JAMA has rejected publication of my study, but I think they are all on Benadryl's payroll.)  

This is twice now that just 2 Benadryl at night have put me into a funk the next day in about a week.  Yesterday I could not fight through, & barely got moving in time to get to work.  So, unfortunately for me, but fortunately for the rest of humanity, no post-type-thing from me.  

But today is different.  I woke up feeling alive and rested.  And kind of hungry, & a little randy, but that is neither here nor there.  Anyway, I got ready early & went to the organization where I work's volunteer recruiting event where I heard inspiring stories about how people can get involved and help.  I would tell you which organization, but I write a ton of inappropriate shit, piss a couple people off (me and my mom), and just present an image that they most likely do not want to be associated with on this blog-type-thing.  And since I like them so far, I will allow them to maintain their good PR as long as possible.  Anyway, that lasted an hour, and I don't have to be back till this afternoon.  So what to do?  

Well, I came home, filled three bags full of clothes I don't wear to take to the donation bins that benefit the organization I work for.  I called to schedule a long awaited appointment for tomorrow morning before work.  I called and scheduled another appointment I have been meaning to make for Thursday.  I cleaned up the clothes I had left on the living room floor last night.  I made the bed.  I have done so many productive things!  Until about 15 minutes ago.  15 minutes ago, my productivity came to a crashing halt.  I started writing this.  While I am producing crappy writing to litter the interwebs with, I don't really think it qualifies as being productive.  

Well my dear reader(s), I think I should probably get going.  I should get up and work out, maybe finish cleaning my rented luxury condo in the ghetto, maybe take the bags of clothes to the donation bin, I could write a list of goals with my strategies for reaching them, maybe come up with new ways to promote my blog-type-thing, figure out how to reach a wider audience than my mom...or, I could take a nap.  Yes, that sounds most productive of all!  

So until next time dear reader(s), do something productive in your own community.  Take a nap.  Make the world a better place.  You'll be glad you did!  

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