Saturday, April 9, 2011

My Epiphany

Good afternoon dear reader(s)!

Last night, as I was already drunk from the 7&7s that Hannah & I consumed after I came home from a visciously long 2 hour workday, Hannah & I decided to walk to Abby's Highway 40 on 4th street to have even more drinks.

While there, we started to talk about how badly Reno is dying (What?!?  Me?!?) with the bartender & one of my friends I called & had meet us there.  During our discussion we all agreed that Reno should just legalize every vice, tax the hell out of it, & sail through any economic storm on the winds of sex, drugs, & bad music purported to be rock & roll, but really just crappy country/pop music.  

Now the bartender most likely has not read my blog-type-thing, & my friend probably hasn't either (I almost never mention it to anyone, especially in context, as that might be the smart thing to do.) but we all agreed that a philosophy for Reno similar to that I had proposed in one of my earlier blog-type-thing posts (Charlie Sheen for Mayor) was the one last chance Reno had to make it.  And then, like a whip lashing from that great dominatirx in the sky, it hit me!  I and I only can save Reno from itself!  While I stand by my original plan to install Charlie Sheen as Mayor, I should be the one with the real power.  I will be the one running things behind the scenes.  I will save Reno from itself!  I owe it to all of the voices in my head!  

Now upon sobering up a bit, my epiphany last night does not seem quite as rational, but it does make me believe that I have a duty to change things.  Then I asked myself, "Self, do I really want to change things, or just get the hell out ASAP?"  

This is an excellent question that I believe everyone should ask themselves upon deciding whether or not to embark on a course of action wherin they will attempt to alter the socio-political landscape in which they currently reside.  As for me, the answer is a definite no.  I don't care.  I will leave here on the next flight I can afford and laugh to myself as the great sinkhole opens up ala Sunnyvale & swallows this entire town & all of the demons that live here.  

However, I have also realized that at this point I still haven't the means to move away from this town, so it is in my best interest to change things for the better.  Yes, that is right, for all Reno residents.  My benevolence is unequaled.  I truly am Reno's Savior...at least until I move.  

So now the question becomes, how do I, a simple man of enormous complexity, change Reno for the better?  Well, here are my ideas so far:
1.  Spread the word.  Some people don't understand the gravity of Reno's suckage, but may be just the people to do something about it once aware.  So if I bitch about this town as much as humanly possible, through this blog-type-thing, conversations with people I meet, conversations with the voices in my head on the street, printed flyers, t-shirts, driving around shouting through a loudspeaker at 1 am on a Sunday night, etc..., then maybe I can bring about a positive change to this community.  
2.  If my vision is to make Reno the adult playground of the world, where sin & vice are not only allowed, but encouraged openly for the purposes of profit, I realize I must lead by example.  Follow me into the light my children.  There might be something in that Kool-Aid, but I guarantee you it will be much more fun than cyanide.  

Okay, so there we go.  Now, if each of my dear reader(s) would come up with two ways THEY can change Reno for the better, there could be as many as four things being done on a semi-regular basis that will have some sort of impact on this town. 

So until next time my dear reader(s), keep hope alive, keep reaching for the stars, remember that together, with hope, yes we can change this city!  And if not, it dies and the suffering is over.  At least we will know that we tried.  Though miracle workers we are not, we will be steadfast in our righteousness, we will not rest until all blah, blah, blah.  Words.  

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