Saturday, April 2, 2011

Missing Seattle

Good afternoon dear reader(s)!
Today's high temperature in Reno was 63 degrees.  At 10:00am.  Since then it has been windy, gloomy, & a little cooler.  Most people are upset that the bright, cancer causing intense sunshine has gone away for the day, but not me.  No, I love this.  It just makes me miss my true home, my soul's happy place of Seattle, WA, USA.  (As opposed to Seattle, WA, Uzbekistan.)
See, as many of you may know (since you are my mom & all) I was born here in Reno, lived most of my life either here or in Sparks (aka East Reno), & then escaped this geographical prison & moved to beautiful Seattle (the US one).  Then something most evil made me decide to move back.  I have never been more convinced that Satan exists until I came back to Reno.  This is my hell, & at this rate I will burn in its dry heat or dry freezer forever.  (No Ziploc freezer bag can save me now.)  But, just to make sure I do not forget about how good I once had it, I get glimpses of weather such as today.  And I miss Seattle even more.  (A single tear now streams down my cheek, the screen blurs, signaling a memory...)
You see, on a day like today I would often stop at one of the many, many excellent coffee shops where I would purchase a white mocha & scone that was not completely dry.  (There is literally no such thing as a moist scone here.  Seriously.)  I would then go to the Ferry Terminal at Edmonds & watch the Ferries come in through the mist.  After a while, I would walk along the beach on the huge driftwood logs, listening to the waves come in and thanking God for allowing me to live in such a beautiful place.  Then I would go home, open a window to allow the cool, fresh, non-polluted air into my home & lungs.  I would then curl up with a good book and relax.  Maybe I would take a nap later, go for a walk, and possibly hit the beach again.  
(Clear screen, snap back to relaity Oh there goes Rabbit he...)  Now in Reno, on a day like today, the choices are a bit different.  Wake up to the sound of abnoxious bass from the upstairs neighbors, walk to the mini-mart for an energy drink (because nobody here can make a good latté), go home, take some ibuprofen to mitigate the headache you are already getting from the same fucking bass line repeated over & over that you will have to hear all day, think about taking a walk but quickly decide not to because you notice the wind has picked up and will blow the sand (yes sand, what is this, Benghazi?!?) into your eyes.  So instead you drive to the library, try to find a good book but end up seeing only Twighlight novels because the only people who read here are 12 year old girls & lonely housewives who fantasize about getting boned by vampires, go home, cry for a while, & drive to one of the many liquor stores to spend your last dollar on a bottle that may help drown your sorrows.  
So because I now know how to post pictures, I decided to post a picture of how today's weather resembles that of my beloved Seattle.  Trained experts in the field will be able to spot 2 key differences.  Since you are not a trained expert in the field, despite what you would like to believe, mom, I have decided to just tell you what they are.  1.  Take note of the tree in the picture.  Notice that there are no leaves or flowers.  In Seattle, there would at least be flowers by now, & most likely leaves.  Here, there will be no flowers, because they will bloom in May just before the week long freeze, when they will all die.  The leaves show up around June, last for 15 days, & then burn to crisps (not English potato chips) in the scorching heat.  2.  The cloud would have been much closer to the ground.  Here they are too high to really feel, so the air is still dry enough to crack your skin until you look like a leper. 
Enough about missing Seattle, I am depressing myself & that isn't the point of my blog-type-thing.  The point of my blog-type-thing is to depress you.  
As some of you may know, I have a Twitter account.   If you'd like, you can follow me on Twitter, just in case this near daily dose of babble isn't enough for you.  (& how could it be?)  I am @drumwrenn.  You can also find me on Facebook.  You can view my LinkedIn profile if you are more professional minded.  You can also find me on the sidewalk if I happen to be walking on the sidewalk at the particular time you go looking for me, & am at the particular stretch of sidewalk where you have chosen.  Failing that I can occasionally be found at a liquor store, or your mom's house.  (Damn!  No he di-n't!)
So until next time dear reader(s), yes, yes I did.  
My next post is one I have been working on for quite some time & unlike this crap, I am very proud of it.  I hope you all are able to read it, as I think the subject matter is of such great importance that it be required reading for the children in our school system.  I promise you that it will be among the more important documents to our democracy, making the founding fathers look like a bunch of ignorant slave holders or something.  So I go to put the finishing touches on it, so that it may be worthy of my other fine posts on this most necessary blog-type-thing.  May you all continue to live free, or die, whatever, far be it from me to tell tou what to do.  Although I will be sad if you choose the latter.  Try living free first, okay?  I would feel guilty otherwise, and that does not make me happy.  Plus, you'd be dead, and so there would be that.  How about this?  Live free.  There.  So I told you what to do and took away your choice.  Big deal.  Can't just let you die.  I do have a conscience.  

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